While I’m waiting for my big break in the publishing world, I’ve given a lot of thought to other writing opportunities. One such opportunity is writing song lyrics. I’m not very knowledgeable about urban lingo and the idea of writing children’s songs like Baby Shark make my teeth ache (as well as being downright cruel to parents everywhere). I’ve decided that I might have a shot with Country music. Visiting friends a few years ago, I commented on a cornflake lying on their laptop. We laughed saying it would make a great line in a country song. The line stayed with me. So, without further ado, here is Cornflake on My Laptop.
(Oh, one more ado. Before Country music afficionados complain that I am mocking the genre, I refer you to the following songs: Kenny Chesney’s She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy, Trace Adkins’ Badonkadonk, and Mark Chestnutt’s Bubba Shot the Jukebox).
Cornflake on my laptop
And the pickup truck is gone
She took my beer and hound dog
Oh, baby, what went wrong?
Her email didn’t say much
Just that she found herself The One
I’m outta luck
I’ve been fucked
Up by Match Dot Com
She always tried to paint the town red
Me? Rather “watch Netflix and chill”
She’d say, “let’s try that bistro”
I’d say, “how about we fire up the grill?”
Seems small town love don’t count for much
Won’t show my hurt to anyone
I’m done with love, looking for a fuck
Through Ashley Madison
Here’s to a number one song in 2020!