LOVE SONGS I LOVE

Paul McCartney sang, “You’d think some people would have had enough of silly love songs.” Well, I sure haven’t. I’ve been a sucker for them since I was small and would ask my mother to play the great operas La Bohème and LaTraviata (I called them ‘the dying records’).

As a reader and writer of romance, the love hasn’t changed. So, I have compiled a list of what I think are the top thirteen love songs. A baker’s dozen if you will (I simply couldn’t narrow the list down any further).

All of Me John Legend: “Love your curves and all your edges/All your perfect imperfections” Who wouldn’t want to hear someone say they love everything about you, even the less than desirable parts?

At Last: It’s shocking that this Etta James classic didn’t make Billboard’s Top 40 when it was released in 1961. It’s a beautiful song that speaks to the triumph and joy of being loved.

Maybe I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney: This song blew me away when I first heard the live version. Paul dedicated it to his wife Linda to whom he was married for 29 years before she died of cancer. I guess she really did “help [him] to understand.”

Teach Me Tonight: If only everyone’s first time could be the way these lyrics promise. Remember when this played as Days of Our Lives’ Justin and Adrienne first made love on their wedding night?

Unforgettable: A beautiful love song, perfectly sung as a romantic ballad by Nat King Cole as well as a father/daughter duet, twenty-six years after Cole’s death, with his daughter, singer Natalie Cole.

Something by the Beatles: George Harrison sings about a love that is still new and feeling unsure about what makes his lover so special and how long it will last.

Someone Like You by Van Morrison: The singer/songwriter’s Moondance is a sexy song, but his Someone Like You is pure romance, a man who has searched long and hard for someone “exactly like you.”

I Swear: Covered by both country singer John Michael Montgomery and the R & B group All-4-One, this proves that a great song can be successfully covered by any group and any genre. I love both versions.

Lover Man (Oh Where Can You Be) by Billie Holiday. I’m not much of a fan of Billie as a singer. But, oh man, she was a great songwriter. This song is romantic and wistful. And underappreciated.

Night and Day and I’ve Got You Under My Skin by Cole Porter: These songs are considered classics for a reason. Both speak to how compelling and precarious love can be. Perhaps that’s why serial lover Frank Sinatra recorded these tunes numerous times.

Don’t Know Why: This Norah Jones classic of lost love and lost chances is sweet and sad. The repeated verse “Don’t know why I didn’t come” is the lament of everyone who has been afraid to risk. But I can’t help but think (and hope) that there might someday be a second chance for the narrator, as well as the listener, to one day have an HEA.

Down On My Knees: When I heard Trisha Yearwood sing this, it started an aural love affair with this talented country music artist. And it also shows that a woman can survive without a special love, but that life is so much better with it.

What do you think of my choices? What are yours? Leave a comment!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO “HMMM”

Since moving into our home four years ago, we’ve become regular recipients of our next door neighbor’s mail. There isn’t a month where I don’t have to bring them the wrongly delivered post. Yesterday, as I walked from their house after making yet another delivery, it occurred to me: they have never come to our place to deliver any misdirected mail. What are the odds that the post office always mixes up the mail into our locked box but never the other way around? Have they been throwing out our mail? Hmmm.

A man recently complained on Reddit that his wife wanted to stop breastfeeding their six-month-old son. He thought that it was very selfish of her. After all, the milk she was making was free and formula isn’t. He added that since stopping was her choice, she should personally pay for the formula. As expected, people soundly disagreed with him. Hmmm. I doubt the wife will want to have another child with this gem of a guy, wouldn’t you agree?

Burrito blanket? Or Shroud of Turin? Or a wrapped dead body found a forest? Hmmm.

An appeals court in Australia has ruled against a man who was suing his former employer for constantly farting at him. ??? The court ruled that farting at an employee does not constitute bullying. ??? WTF?

Finally, I just heard about a unisex perfume with a unique scent. It smells of semen (as well as notes of sweat, saliva, and blood). It’s called Secretions Magnifiques. Apparently, the pheromones are supposed to attract men. So, does that confirm that most men are in love with themselves? Hmmm.

WE NEED A (SUPER) HERO

A plethora of Superhero movies is about to grace movie theaters. Captain Marvel and Shazam! are already out and the newest X-Men, Justice League, and Spiderman films are to be released this summer. But why don’t moviemakers turn to the classic heroes and tales from mythology? They’ve lasted millennia because they are solid stories. Just look at the successful Thor movie franchise.

I think a compelling hero to base a new movie on is the mighty Hercules, the illegitimate son of Zeus and hated stepson of Hera. Of this demi’god’s many tales, one of the most famous was the twelve tasks he had to complete for the king of Argos.

Here is my modern-day take on this tale in movie teaser form.

Coming this Summer:

In a world where the gods of mythology still exist, hidden on Mount Olympus, one could no longer remain. Now, he walks among the citizens of the United States. And he must complete—

The Twelve Labors of a 21st Century Hercules

• See Hercules divert the course of a river to clean San Francisco’s feces and needle infested streets.

• Watch as he gently puts a terminally ill lion out of its misery and, with the help of SeanJean, designs a fur hoody which he wears like a boss!

• Be amazed as the demi-god pays for everything on his dates! Wears clean, pressed clothes! Showers!

• Does something the first time his love interest asks, so she doesn’t wind up feeling like a nag. Or his mom.

• Watch as he never moves his hand to his crotch in order to adjust or scratch his junk!

• See Hercules fight off the evil Snake of Toxic Masculinity, cutting off its multiple heads of aggression, anger, control, white male privilege, ego, and bushy beards all while able to avoid being called a “pussy” and maintaining a sexy, “Alpha” man image. No being turned off by man tears, ladies.

• Watch as he decides which diet will work best before his big Men’s Health cover shoot: Keto, Paleo, Intermittent Fasting, Vegan (no roast lamb for Hercules?).

• See him review the Mueller Report in its entirety.

• And feel your heart melt as you watch him smooch on puppies! And kittens!

The Twelve Labors of a 21st Century Hercules

Coming Summer, 2019 to a theater near you.